Nice.

My morning ritual (as of last week) is to drink coffee while smoking as soon as I muster the strength to get out of bed. It jumpstarts my body for the day. I don’t even like coffee, but I need to do it. Imagine my surprise—and fury—when this morning, I found out that my pack of cigarettes was missing. It still had 16 sticks in it, for fuck’s sake. I don’t know who stole it. Or ate it, for that matter. God, it’s so early in the morning, and already I’m pissed off. 

Dear freshmen.

I am so sick and tired of all your whining about the trivial things that you need to accomplish. Your English research paper, really? You haven’t even begun writing synthesis papers for Philosophy. Your freshman Zoology test? Bitch, please. Complain when you’ve gone through an actual Physiology class. I know it seems like it’s the end of the world for you (it’s not), but I seriously don’t think you have enough backbone to soldier through three more years in college if you keep bitching about these subjects. They’re already pretty basic, okay? No need to flood everyone’s feed and dashboard about how you’re so scared you might fail your Filipino class because really, the classes you have now are nothing compared to what you’ll be taking up in the next few years. 

Y’all need to get drunk and get laid.

LOL

I guess we all have that one Facebook friend whose profile pictures, for reasons which I cannot comprehend, are those of party shots. Oh, you know what I’m talking about. Pictures with lots of bright swirly shit, people pretending to be friends and hugging, and/or that gratuitous picture of her downing a shot of Bacardi (or water, for that matter). Anyway this friend of mine’s profile pictures are exactly of those kind. All her profile pictures are either of her dancing, drinking, or making out with someone (!!!). I mean, okay, I know that you drink and party and all and omg fuck it you’re young right? Next thing you know, she’ll end up on one those memes getting literally shitfaced. Not my problem. I find it really funny, because it’s like she’s trying to tell everyone that she’s an alcoholic, or something. COOLNESS!!!

Same Facebook friend is the reason why we can’t drink in Cantina until 6pm, and why I can’t make out with girls in there anymore. I mean, really? Where’s the fun in that?

One of my biggest pet peeves

is when people, for some unknown reason, decide to interconnect every single social networking site they have with Facebook that when you go and look at their wall, you’re greeted by a barrage of their posts from Twitter, Tumblr, and whatever else site they’re part of. I have a friend who posts exactly the same stuff on Twitter and Facebook. I’m like, dude, I read your tweet the first time okay, it’s not like I’m dyslexic, or something. We’re friends on Facebook, and I already follow you on both Twitter and Tumblr, so I don’t like seeing your post three fucking times. I mean the whole reason why these sites are separate in the first place is because they’re supposed to be separate. Having everything interconnected just makes everything look tacky.

But, you know, whatever floats your boat.

So….

Remember when I bought a condom shirt last April? Yeah, me too. I was browsing through my clothes this morning because I wanted to wear it to school today. What do I find? My condom shirt. Without the condom. I screamed for a good 5 seconds and I think one of our neighbors actually shushed me. Or I could’ve been imagining things out of anger. Whatever. I stormed downstairs, asked everyone where the fuck my condom was, and everyone was just all silent and all shruggy. Even my mom.

NOW I JUST HAVE A FUCKING PLAIN BLACK SHIRT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH A PLAIN BLACK SHIRT HUH WHY IS EVERYTHING SO FUCKED UP RECENTLY

So I was browsing through a friend’s photo album on Facebook

and I stumbled upon a certain artsy (read: heavily photoshopped) picture of hers which around 40 people apparently like, but I don’t. I have no idea why she decided to post a Thank You comment to each and every single person that liked her picture. She posted the comments on the picture itself. I mean, really? You’d go through all of that shit just to show people how grateful you are that they “like” your picture? Aren’t you supposed to get Carpal Tunnel because of that?